Book Review: Twilight

Okay, I've heard both good and bad things about this book. Mostly, from the people I trust, I've hear the bad.

It was all that and more. In the end, this book was an okay idea gone horribly, horribly, wrong. It's the altimate Mary-Sue and Gary-Stu fall in love story. The worst part? Gary Stu Edward the vampire... FUCKING SPARKLES!!!

No, I didn't make it up.

To top off the utterly bland main characters falling in love... or obsession at first site, we are loaded down with purple prose, which is all the main protagonist seems to think in. Especially when it comes to her precious sparkly Eddikins.

The book does have one saving grace, though. The head bad guy, who at first seems to be going after Bella {our bland Mary Sue main protagonist}, is really just doing it because she's hanging out with Alice.. a vamp that got away from him when she was human. Okay, she was rescued by another vamp and turned into one, but still! It wasn't all about Bella. I think I like the bad guy most of all.

Will I see this movie? Normally, I'd say I wouldn't go within a hundred miles of it... but it's got Robert Pattinson in it. You know, Cedric? Yeah, the guy who looks like he just rolled up out of an opium den and is on his way to a really good orgy. I mean that it all the sexiest ways, of course.

eta: I'm pretty sure that description of RP is a paraphrasing of something grrliz said.

Will I be reading the rest? You know I can't resist a fantastically horrific train wreck!


Making a Loud Noise Until Rescued

"I thought," said Piglet earnestly, "that if Eeyore stood at the bottom of the tree, and if Pooh stood on Eeyore's back, and if I stood on Pooh's shoulders----"

"And if Eeyore's back snapped suddenly, then we could all laugh. Ha ha! Amusing in a quiet way," said Eeyore, "but not really helpful."

"Well," said Piglet meekly, "I thought----"

"Would it break your back, Eeyore?" asked Pooh, very much surprised.

"That's what would be so interesting, Pooh. Not being quite sure till afterwards."

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October 2011