on December 31st, 2009 at 03:17 pm
|Stardate||1513.1 - 1513.8 (7 hours, a week?)|
|Non-Crew Aliens||Salt seeking Vampire|
|Enterprise:||*is orbiting random red planet that will double for a number of other planets in future episodes*|
|Uhura:||*is at the navigation station!?*|
|Spock:||*is pissy one of his humans are visiting their ex... or is constipated*|
|Planet:||*has sparkly sand*|
|Crewman Darnell:||*thinks switching out his red shirt for blue will protect him*|
|Captain's Log:||"Our mission, routine medical examination of archaeologist Robert Crater, and his wife, Nancy. Routine, but for the fact that Nancy Crater is that one woman in Dr. McCoy's past."|
|Kirk:||"I pik'd des fur u"|
|McCoy:||*oddly, not impressed' "Let's just walk right in."|
|Nobody:||"Shouldn't we wait to be invited?"|
|Landing Party:||"Door's open."|
|Door:||*is not there*|
|McCoy:||*is slightly nervous*|
|Kirk:||*finds it adorable, but hopes she forgot all about his Bones*|
|Nancy:||*definitely didn't forget* |
"Leonard! Are you here for a booty call? I'd totally be open to that."
|McCoy:||*is thinking about it. a lot.*|
|Nancy:||*is hoping that Kirk isn't here for the threesome she promised, never thinking she'd have to deliver*|
|Captain's Log:||"Captain's log, additional entry. Since our mission was routine, we had beamed down to the planet without suspicion. We were totally unaware that each member of the landing party was seeing a different woman, a different Nancy Crater."|
|Kirk:||*is suddenly not worried that she's going to steal his Bones*|
|Crewman Darnell:||*sticks his foot further in his mouth than any crewman who hopes to live should ever attempt*|
|Dr. Crater :||*is belligerent*|
|Dr. Crater:||*is still belligerent*|
|Kirk:||"All yours, |
|Uhura's Legs:||*are hot*|
|Spock:||"Miss Uhura, your last subspace log contained an error in the frequencies column."|
|Uhura:||"I dare you, I double dare you, motherfucker. Say 'frequency' one more goddamn time."|
|McCoy:||"Now I'll tell you something else. This man shouldn't be dead. I can't find anything wrong with him. According to all the tests, he should get up and just walk away from here."|
|McCoy:||"So improbable we almost didn't check it."|
|Kirk:||"What the fuck are you people talking about?"|
|Kirk:||"You in the mood for an apology?"|
"I thought," said Piglet earnestly, "that if Eeyore stood at the bottom of the tree, and if Pooh stood on Eeyore's back, and if I stood on Pooh's shoulders----"
"And if Eeyore's back snapped suddenly, then we could all laugh. Ha ha! Amusing in a quiet way," said Eeyore, "but not really helpful."
"Well," said Piglet meekly, "I thought----"
"Would it break your back, Eeyore?" asked Pooh, very much surprised.
"That's what would be so interesting, Pooh. Not being quite sure till afterwards."